Please read the poem below with the idea that there is a lot that needs to be changed in our world! We have gone to far with what we have become!
Babble on in Babylon
Brimming closets, shoe racks bulge, one in every color, I’ll just indulge.
My wildest whim will oft be met, bigger, faster, give me, get.
Travel on in Babylon.
May I go first? Knew you’d not care, for my time’s precious. You’ve lots to spare.
I’ll slip in front and off I’ll go. See, I’m quite fast and well, you’re quite slow.
I and me fast friends, life-long.Prattle on in Babylon.
Nip it here, just there a lift. I just turned forty, it was a gift.
The eyes, the lips, the bosoms do, sculptured, lasered, injected, too.
No wrinkles left, the tummy’s gone. Journey on in Babylon.
Enough of me, how do you view me?You get one, but give me three.
I couldn’t bare to just say no, it’s my desire and rightly so.
Add another and on and on.Shuffle on in Babylon.
No end in sight that I can see, today is blocked by the mirror in front of me.
A wreck, a death, tsunami tide, it mildly stirs me, I must confide.
TV claims tens of thousands gone. Oh well, let’s see what else is on.
Numb to the stunning sight of each new dawn, Sinking fast in Babylon.
Like a lobster in a pot who begins to like the water hot,I’ve been duped, been tricked, been had, convinced that truth was somehow bad. Evil, coddled and cooed and purred, and beckoned me and called and lured. Now in a place with the lights turned on,
I’m racing home from Babylon.
I’m racing home from Babylon.
--Lynn Parker
Taken from the video series in the study of Daniel. Thank you Beth Moore for speaking the truth and your study of God's word. Praying God's abundant blessing and protection on you, your family and ministry.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Humble Pie!
Hello Everyone out there! I hope life has been treating you well! There is a lot that has been taking place in my life and it is still happening! God is trying to teach me humility right now and being human, I think I am trying to fight it! I so want to be me, but I am quickly learning that a lot of people don't like the "me" I want to be!! I have heard all my life, Shauna you can't say that, you can't do that, change who you are cause nobody likes you. Then I turn around and see everyone doing that which I am being told not to do???? What is up with that!!!??? As my big sister told me, I am held to a different and higher standard than all of those around me, especially unbelievers! I was also thinking since I know I am called to be a missionary to Africa, God expects way more from me than the others that I compare myself to! One thing to remember is that God DOES NOT compare us to each other when He is dealing with us! He expects out of each of us, what He is dealing with in our hearts to be changed according to Him and not in comparrison with others. When we start to compare ourselves we lower our standards and in turn miss out on what God wanted us to learn in the situation that we are going through! In other words we limit and doubt God, which places us out from underneath God's umbrella of protection! We deny Him the right place that He is suppose to have in our hearts! So I said all of this to say that humble pie is very hard to eat, let alone take the first bite, however, it can be done one bite at a time! In order to eat it one bite at a time, you have to allow God to show you how to change and what to change, you cannot and will not be able to do it on your own! Give it to God and it will work!! "In ALL your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight!" Proverbs 3:6 NIV and "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added unto you!" Matthew 6:33.
I hope this has helped someone, because it has helped my tremoundously!
Becoming a better me,
With my heart in His hands,
Shauna
I hope this has helped someone, because it has helped my tremoundously!
Becoming a better me,
With my heart in His hands,
Shauna
Thursday, September 13, 2007
One Flaw In Women
Hello again everyone,
I was reading a friends blog over on MySpace and she had this posted there! It struck a chord in me as to how so many women are like this and we need to pray against this spirit that satan is trying to put on women! By believing this lie we in turn give satan control of our homes, husbands, children and others around us! We nee to remember that we are fearfully and wonderfully made!
Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happyand laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They won't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their family and friends.
Women have vital things to say and everything to give.
HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.
Becoming a better me,
With my heart in His Hands,
Shauna
I was reading a friends blog over on MySpace and she had this posted there! It struck a chord in me as to how so many women are like this and we need to pray against this spirit that satan is trying to put on women! By believing this lie we in turn give satan control of our homes, husbands, children and others around us! We nee to remember that we are fearfully and wonderfully made!
Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happyand laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They won't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their family and friends.
Women have vital things to say and everything to give.
HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.
Becoming a better me,
With my heart in His Hands,
Shauna
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Reasons........
Hello again everybody,
The reason for my title is simple, as I explain below....
Reasons not to assume (we know what this does ;) )
Reasons not to procrastinate
Reasons not to text angry messages to the one you love
Reasons not to take advantage of a situation
Now the reason for all of this has to do with my absolutely wonderful, awesome, and outstanding Labor Day Weekend that God chose to teach me a valuable lesson!
Let me start off with the fact that I had a horrible week prior to the weekend beginning! As y'all got to here about on my previous blog. Remember how I kept saying all I want is my husband here to hold me? Well that wish came true....let me explain:
On Friday around Noon, my husband told me that I would be getting a package in the mail, Saturday Morning. I told him unless it was his arms around me, it wouldn't be that exciting! He said "Yeah right". Like that would never happen. Well I said ok, then we will talk tonight when you get out of work, and he said yes. So come 5:30pm his time, 6:30 pm mine, he called and said that him and some classmates were going to run to Roswell real quick and then go out to the bar. Well we had talked the previous night and he said he was just going to stay in his room over the weekend and relax, so after having this conversation that they were now going to the bar, I texted him and asked "What happened to you resting?" and he said "Oh Peer Pressure". So that was it, he then said I will call you when I get out of the bar. I was like ok, I am going to wait up for you and he said Ok. Well come 3:30 am my time, 2:30 am his time, no phone call. So I called him and said, "Hey what's going on?" He said "Oh we are at my buddy's truck still drinking beer and will probably go in around 5 or 6 am. He said we will talk tomorrow because I am too tired right now. The tears started flowing and I was so upset. I told him I live for our nightly talks and I stayed up BECAUSE he promised that we were going to talk. What was going on that he couldn't talk to me now, and he was like I am so tired and don't feel like talking. I said so why did you promise, he said because I am an a**hole like that! Oh got so upset that I started crying harder. Well my husband was like, well we will talk tomorrow good night and I love you. I said "Ok I love you..." but in a drag out way cause I was in shock that he really didn't want to talk. Well when we got off the phone I was SO ANGRY that I decided I would text him. I said "Just wanted to let you know I had a really bad week and I really needed you! I know because the guys are there you have to treat me like sh*t." He texted me back with "What the h*ll?" And I told him that he had told me sometimes he does things differently because these guys are basically stroking his ego. (My thoughts on that matter). Anywho, he texted me back with "Go to sleep and we will talk tomorrow." This made me so angry, that I throw the phone down and got into bed balling my eyes out. Around 4:30 am, my husband calls me and asks what are you doing, and I said, I am trying to sleep but I am so angry I cant. He said well get up and open the door. I said, I can't I am not dressed properly and who am I opening the door for this late! (Blonde is kicking in here BIG TIME) So then he says again get up get dressed and OPEN the door! I said Ok I am going. So finally as I get to the door the idea finally hits me oh my word I think my husband is here!!!! And then I quickly shut out that idea, because there was no one outside. Well 2 seconds later, he pulls into the drive in his classmates truck! He drove all night to come and see his family!!!!!! I couldn't believe it, I was in tears! I was also eating ALOT of humble pie! It was the best thing that I could have ever gotten, and God answered my prayers!!!
Also during the whole day I felt the Holy Spirit telling me, "Hey clean the house." So I did a few things around the house. Nothing big, that I could have done!!! When Hector showed up I could have kicked myself! If I would have listened to the Holy Spirit the house would have been nice and ready for him! It is important not to quench the Holy Spirit. Meaning, when you hear him talking, no matter how small or how big, LISTEN!!!
Well I wanted this to be posted sooner. Sorry it is a week late, however, it was finals at school!
The reason for my title is simple, as I explain below....
Reasons not to assume (we know what this does ;) )
Reasons not to procrastinate
Reasons not to text angry messages to the one you love
Reasons not to take advantage of a situation
Now the reason for all of this has to do with my absolutely wonderful, awesome, and outstanding Labor Day Weekend that God chose to teach me a valuable lesson!
Let me start off with the fact that I had a horrible week prior to the weekend beginning! As y'all got to here about on my previous blog. Remember how I kept saying all I want is my husband here to hold me? Well that wish came true....let me explain:
On Friday around Noon, my husband told me that I would be getting a package in the mail, Saturday Morning. I told him unless it was his arms around me, it wouldn't be that exciting! He said "Yeah right". Like that would never happen. Well I said ok, then we will talk tonight when you get out of work, and he said yes. So come 5:30pm his time, 6:30 pm mine, he called and said that him and some classmates were going to run to Roswell real quick and then go out to the bar. Well we had talked the previous night and he said he was just going to stay in his room over the weekend and relax, so after having this conversation that they were now going to the bar, I texted him and asked "What happened to you resting?" and he said "Oh Peer Pressure". So that was it, he then said I will call you when I get out of the bar. I was like ok, I am going to wait up for you and he said Ok. Well come 3:30 am my time, 2:30 am his time, no phone call. So I called him and said, "Hey what's going on?" He said "Oh we are at my buddy's truck still drinking beer and will probably go in around 5 or 6 am. He said we will talk tomorrow because I am too tired right now. The tears started flowing and I was so upset. I told him I live for our nightly talks and I stayed up BECAUSE he promised that we were going to talk. What was going on that he couldn't talk to me now, and he was like I am so tired and don't feel like talking. I said so why did you promise, he said because I am an a**hole like that! Oh got so upset that I started crying harder. Well my husband was like, well we will talk tomorrow good night and I love you. I said "Ok I love you..." but in a drag out way cause I was in shock that he really didn't want to talk. Well when we got off the phone I was SO ANGRY that I decided I would text him. I said "Just wanted to let you know I had a really bad week and I really needed you! I know because the guys are there you have to treat me like sh*t." He texted me back with "What the h*ll?" And I told him that he had told me sometimes he does things differently because these guys are basically stroking his ego. (My thoughts on that matter). Anywho, he texted me back with "Go to sleep and we will talk tomorrow." This made me so angry, that I throw the phone down and got into bed balling my eyes out. Around 4:30 am, my husband calls me and asks what are you doing, and I said, I am trying to sleep but I am so angry I cant. He said well get up and open the door. I said, I can't I am not dressed properly and who am I opening the door for this late! (Blonde is kicking in here BIG TIME) So then he says again get up get dressed and OPEN the door! I said Ok I am going. So finally as I get to the door the idea finally hits me oh my word I think my husband is here!!!! And then I quickly shut out that idea, because there was no one outside. Well 2 seconds later, he pulls into the drive in his classmates truck! He drove all night to come and see his family!!!!!! I couldn't believe it, I was in tears! I was also eating ALOT of humble pie! It was the best thing that I could have ever gotten, and God answered my prayers!!!
Also during the whole day I felt the Holy Spirit telling me, "Hey clean the house." So I did a few things around the house. Nothing big, that I could have done!!! When Hector showed up I could have kicked myself! If I would have listened to the Holy Spirit the house would have been nice and ready for him! It is important not to quench the Holy Spirit. Meaning, when you hear him talking, no matter how small or how big, LISTEN!!!
Well I wanted this to be posted sooner. Sorry it is a week late, however, it was finals at school!
Becoming a better me,
With my heart in His Hands,
Shauna
Friday, August 31, 2007
The way things are right now!
Hello again everybody,
Well I hope that you have had a great start to your weekend! I am praying that my weekend goes WAY better than my week went! There was sooooo much that happened it was not even funny!
My sister is being so disrespectful to my mom and it is not a laughing matter. She has been given so much yet feels she is sooooo privileged to be able to demand for more! What a spoilt brat! So I had to deal with her crying about mom, and she lied to me this week and made me feel bad about my mom.
I had a friend have a boy issue and it happened to cut into my time with my husband, and caused my husband to become upset with me. By the end of the phone call with him I was in tears. All is ok now, but it was just hard to go through!
My children did nothing but scream and cry this whole week. My son got my cell phone and called his daddy on accident, he then took crayon and colored on almost all the tiles in the kitchen and front door area! What ever a 2 year old can do, I think he did it this week! All of this brought on more frustration!
All the fish in our fish tank have kicked the bucket and I am trying to explain it to my 2 1/2 year old who doesn't quite understand. I am feeling sooooo guilty that I have killed the fish even though I really didn't do anything different than my husband does. However, I can't clean the filter, so that is a bad on my part. Anyways, the fish died off and I just sat down and cried!
I have a HUGE paper due in my Effective Writing class and soooo do not want to work on revising it! It is due Tuesday and needs to be between 7 to 10 pages. My professor gave me a lot of notes so that will be very helpful!
On top of all of this, I started. I was not suppose to have a period anymore, because I had an ablation performed. It was not a absolute that I wouldn't but I prayed so hard I thought I wouldn't. SO my emotions were kicked into high gear this week, so after everything that happened I CRIED!
I am just so frustrated and want my husband here with me to hold me! I need his arms around me so bad that I would do anything to have it right now! That saying, "You don't know what you got till it's gone." is so true. Not that I didn't appreciate my husband before, but, it sure is way different without him! For me going through changes has always been a very hard and difficult thing regardless if it is big or small. There are certain nights that the feelings of uncertainty I had as a kid come flooding back into me as I go through this time in my journey! I get a knot in my throat and have all these fears flood my mind, and then I become sick to my stomach. This use to happen all the time to me as a child and when I turned 19 and met my husband, I began to lose that fear. Well almost 8 years later it has returned! It grips my life and makes it so difficult for me to break away from. I feel like when the knot starts in my throat, that someone is taking one of those neck braces with chains and putting it around me. It drags and holds me down tightly with little room to breath or move! And of course every ones response is, "Well just pray about it." I know their answer is well intended; however, if it was that simple, it wouldn't have this grip on me! It makes me wonder if those women that have committed suicide, had this same fear that I have! It really gets that bad.
We are now on my husband finishing week 5 and beginning week 6 of his 16 week training! Only 10 more weeks to go! Praise God! Or according to the countdown on my cell phone, only 87 days, 7 hours, and 50 minutes remaining. (not that I am counting! LOL) I received great news from him, he has passed his National Law course and he did the mile in under the 13 minute requirement! Way to go baby, you make me so proud! :) He is currently out and celebrating these 2 accomplishments! Have fun baby and I wished I was there with you!
I guess that is another issue! Just to get out of this house would be so awesome! I feel so, I don't know, mundane! These white walls feel like they are closing in on me and I have no contact with the outside world! Even though people call and check on me, but it is not the same as getting to actually go out of the house. I am so praying that my dad gets to come and see me, because I am really about to blow a gasket! LOL! I have never been a homebody. It drives me nuts. I started taking my kids walking to the local park, however, since it has rained for the past 9 or 10 days, exactly at the time that we leave, we have not been able to go. For fun the other day, I took my kids to go put gas in the car. My son kept saying, "Mommy, go bye bye?" over and over, so finally I was like lets go. (Again it was raining so we couldn't walk). It broke my heart!
Anyways, thank you for listening to my week! I pray that everyone has a great weekend and a blessed next week! Feel free to comment!
Becoming a better me,
With my heart in His Hands,
Shauna
Well I hope that you have had a great start to your weekend! I am praying that my weekend goes WAY better than my week went! There was sooooo much that happened it was not even funny!
My sister is being so disrespectful to my mom and it is not a laughing matter. She has been given so much yet feels she is sooooo privileged to be able to demand for more! What a spoilt brat! So I had to deal with her crying about mom, and she lied to me this week and made me feel bad about my mom.
I had a friend have a boy issue and it happened to cut into my time with my husband, and caused my husband to become upset with me. By the end of the phone call with him I was in tears. All is ok now, but it was just hard to go through!
My children did nothing but scream and cry this whole week. My son got my cell phone and called his daddy on accident, he then took crayon and colored on almost all the tiles in the kitchen and front door area! What ever a 2 year old can do, I think he did it this week! All of this brought on more frustration!
All the fish in our fish tank have kicked the bucket and I am trying to explain it to my 2 1/2 year old who doesn't quite understand. I am feeling sooooo guilty that I have killed the fish even though I really didn't do anything different than my husband does. However, I can't clean the filter, so that is a bad on my part. Anyways, the fish died off and I just sat down and cried!
I have a HUGE paper due in my Effective Writing class and soooo do not want to work on revising it! It is due Tuesday and needs to be between 7 to 10 pages. My professor gave me a lot of notes so that will be very helpful!
On top of all of this, I started. I was not suppose to have a period anymore, because I had an ablation performed. It was not a absolute that I wouldn't but I prayed so hard I thought I wouldn't. SO my emotions were kicked into high gear this week, so after everything that happened I CRIED!
I am just so frustrated and want my husband here with me to hold me! I need his arms around me so bad that I would do anything to have it right now! That saying, "You don't know what you got till it's gone." is so true. Not that I didn't appreciate my husband before, but, it sure is way different without him! For me going through changes has always been a very hard and difficult thing regardless if it is big or small. There are certain nights that the feelings of uncertainty I had as a kid come flooding back into me as I go through this time in my journey! I get a knot in my throat and have all these fears flood my mind, and then I become sick to my stomach. This use to happen all the time to me as a child and when I turned 19 and met my husband, I began to lose that fear. Well almost 8 years later it has returned! It grips my life and makes it so difficult for me to break away from. I feel like when the knot starts in my throat, that someone is taking one of those neck braces with chains and putting it around me. It drags and holds me down tightly with little room to breath or move! And of course every ones response is, "Well just pray about it." I know their answer is well intended; however, if it was that simple, it wouldn't have this grip on me! It makes me wonder if those women that have committed suicide, had this same fear that I have! It really gets that bad.
We are now on my husband finishing week 5 and beginning week 6 of his 16 week training! Only 10 more weeks to go! Praise God! Or according to the countdown on my cell phone, only 87 days, 7 hours, and 50 minutes remaining. (not that I am counting! LOL) I received great news from him, he has passed his National Law course and he did the mile in under the 13 minute requirement! Way to go baby, you make me so proud! :) He is currently out and celebrating these 2 accomplishments! Have fun baby and I wished I was there with you!
I guess that is another issue! Just to get out of this house would be so awesome! I feel so, I don't know, mundane! These white walls feel like they are closing in on me and I have no contact with the outside world! Even though people call and check on me, but it is not the same as getting to actually go out of the house. I am so praying that my dad gets to come and see me, because I am really about to blow a gasket! LOL! I have never been a homebody. It drives me nuts. I started taking my kids walking to the local park, however, since it has rained for the past 9 or 10 days, exactly at the time that we leave, we have not been able to go. For fun the other day, I took my kids to go put gas in the car. My son kept saying, "Mommy, go bye bye?" over and over, so finally I was like lets go. (Again it was raining so we couldn't walk). It broke my heart!
Anyways, thank you for listening to my week! I pray that everyone has a great weekend and a blessed next week! Feel free to comment!
Becoming a better me,
With my heart in His Hands,
Shauna
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Welcome to my world!
Hello Everyone!
I hope that everyones day has been great! I decided to start a blog up again because I need an outlet for all that I am going through! My husband has been in training for a month on his new job and so much has changed in me and for the good. I realize that I do not need to be so codependent on my husband. At first I didnt think that I could make it on my own with him being gone. I thought I would break down and not make it through each day. However, I am proving myself wrong! Don't get me wrong, there are many days that my emotions are very strong and I sit down and have me a good cry or yell out loud! Hot showers and a half a glass of wine have been very very helpful! LOL! No I am not a drunk, but occasionally sipping on some wine helps me relax!
So far since my husband has started his new adventure, I have lost 5 almost 6 pounds, and this is just from walking and not eating so much! It has been really nice to take these walks with my son and daughter! It has rained for the last week and a half so we havent been able to walk, but hopefully we will get to start back up again soon!
I am also looking forward to going to a new church this coming Sunday. It is with my cousin Geena and her daughter. She has been a saving grace for me, and a lifesaver at the most perfect times! I hope she knows how greatly appreciated she is! Also my other cousin Cindy has been really nice and awesome too! She has done things for my son and me that just knocked me off my feet! How to ever repay these two women!
So now I am facing things that I have never had to deal with before. I am basically doing everything that a single mom does. In fact right now I label myself as a Single Married Mom. I know oxymoron! But, do to where we are at right now in our lives, it is what it is! I am hoping that during this time, I lose weight, I become a better house wife/mom, and that I appreciate what I have! This all can only be achieved through me growing closer to God and me getting of my big bottom and just doing it! In other words the ball is in my court! God is there for me to come join Him, and the house needing to be cleaned and me exercising is my decision! Nobody else can decide for me! It is all in my hands, and if I give it to God, He will help me with my decision! Well thanks for listening to my rambling! Leave a comment if you want and I will comment back! Talk to everyone later!
Becoming a better me,
With my heart in His Hands
Shauna
I hope that everyones day has been great! I decided to start a blog up again because I need an outlet for all that I am going through! My husband has been in training for a month on his new job and so much has changed in me and for the good. I realize that I do not need to be so codependent on my husband. At first I didnt think that I could make it on my own with him being gone. I thought I would break down and not make it through each day. However, I am proving myself wrong! Don't get me wrong, there are many days that my emotions are very strong and I sit down and have me a good cry or yell out loud! Hot showers and a half a glass of wine have been very very helpful! LOL! No I am not a drunk, but occasionally sipping on some wine helps me relax!
So far since my husband has started his new adventure, I have lost 5 almost 6 pounds, and this is just from walking and not eating so much! It has been really nice to take these walks with my son and daughter! It has rained for the last week and a half so we havent been able to walk, but hopefully we will get to start back up again soon!
I am also looking forward to going to a new church this coming Sunday. It is with my cousin Geena and her daughter. She has been a saving grace for me, and a lifesaver at the most perfect times! I hope she knows how greatly appreciated she is! Also my other cousin Cindy has been really nice and awesome too! She has done things for my son and me that just knocked me off my feet! How to ever repay these two women!
So now I am facing things that I have never had to deal with before. I am basically doing everything that a single mom does. In fact right now I label myself as a Single Married Mom. I know oxymoron! But, do to where we are at right now in our lives, it is what it is! I am hoping that during this time, I lose weight, I become a better house wife/mom, and that I appreciate what I have! This all can only be achieved through me growing closer to God and me getting of my big bottom and just doing it! In other words the ball is in my court! God is there for me to come join Him, and the house needing to be cleaned and me exercising is my decision! Nobody else can decide for me! It is all in my hands, and if I give it to God, He will help me with my decision! Well thanks for listening to my rambling! Leave a comment if you want and I will comment back! Talk to everyone later!
Becoming a better me,
With my heart in His Hands
Shauna
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